The author discovers that when her husband is carrying their
daughter, security guards and others are more courteous and helpful than when she is alone and carrying her child. “Whether we are at the mall or the airport, my husband carrying our child elicits compassion and people going out of their way to help us. While this is wonderful, it unfortunately highlights the underlying stigma of fatherhood.”
Society is changing and people are becoming used to seeing fathers who are fully engaged in childrearing. “My greatest joy, Malhotra writes, is in knowing that my daughter will receive the love of a truly present father. She will witness a father who supports his wife in the career of her choice and a father who is completely comfortable cooking in the kitchen. She will understand that our gender does not define our roles.”
Engaged fathers are a vital part of a child’s development. That is why as a society, we need to hold fathers to the same expectations as mothers. We need to support fathers so that they can be involved from the moment the child is in the womb. A newborn bonding with the father is just as important as with the mother. That is why paternity leave needs to be given as much precedence as maternity leave. The issue of work-life balance doesn’t just apply to mothers, it applies to fathers too.
We must support the rise of the engaged father. Ultimately, it is those eulogy qualities found in truly present fathers that will not only elevate fatherhood, but will define it.